lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
