oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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