would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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