Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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