You work out of a Hotel?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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