nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
