He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
