And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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