He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
