Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am available for nakedness
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
