Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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