big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
