so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I will be naked everywhere
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
