my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize