I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
