how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize