I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
