So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize