Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
