the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
