awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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