She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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