I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
