Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
