i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize