he thought i was a dude.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
