You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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