the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
