Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
