you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Farmville is her only friend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
