Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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