last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
