i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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