As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
