I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
