I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
