Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
