Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
