is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize