i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
