The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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