Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
