i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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