I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
