dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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