Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
