I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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