Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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