I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
