dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
