The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
