i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
