Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
