eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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