oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
