Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
