Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
