I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize