She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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