Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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