If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
