I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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