Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
