I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
