Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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